When he cried at school

I've heard of how sometimes kids have a bout with scholl anxiety after holidays or vacation. Since Huzaifah's first day at kindie was a breeze, I thought it would be another smooth process for him to return to kindie after more than 2 weeks leave due to his chicken pox.

Normally he goes to kindie with Ayah, but yesterday since I was on leave, I sent him instead. There were signs of him not being too keen to go back to school - he dilly-dalied during the shower, dilly-dallied after breakfast and even reluctant to put on his school shoes. But I dismissed the thought of him not being eager to go back to school, in fact was pretty confident that he would be excited to meet Cikgu An and his friends - Aida, Zafran and the triplets - Amin, Iman and Aman(?) I'm sure about Amin and Iman but not too sure about the third triplet, duh!.

 

During the early days of kindie - before he got his uniforms

Huzaifah sounded chirpy enough on the car - made me promised to let him play with his current favorite toy as soon as he come back from school. I said okay. His new 'toy' is actually an educational game - to which he channels a lot of time and energy and from which he derives positive attention as opposed to negative attention when he jumped around and created a big mess in the living room with all the trains and cars and wild animal figures   

I must admit that I was completely taken by surprise when Huzaifah stood still at the entrance of the kindie. Cikgu An came to greet him - class was about to start and I wouldn't be surprised if Huzaifah was the last to arrive.

"Ujai dah ok dah?"

I explained that not only he got a bad case of eczema break-outs, it was followed by chicken pox, hence the long break. But things seem to be fine now, alhamdulillah.

 

Huzaifah in his current uniform. It is almost a ritual for him to watch Little Einstein while waiting for his Ayah to get ready to leave in the morning

Huzaifah kissed the back of Cikgu An's right hand - the normal routine for all the students - when prompted, but still showed no signs of wanting to join his friends. I asked him to take off his shoes and put them on the rack like he usually does, but he remained standing still. I took the shoes off his feet and pushed him inside the classroom. He started to fight me back. 

One of the triplets - was it Iman or Amin - came to the door and took Huzaifah's hand, "Ujai marilah masuk". Another triplet picked up Huzaifah's shoes and put them on the shoe rack.

And then the waterworks started. Just like that. tak ada angin, tak ada ribut Tiba-tiba 'hujan lebat'.

Huzaifah started crying and struggled as I pulled him inside the classroom. Cikgu An reserved a seat for him at a strategic place - right under the fan - so that he would not get so itchy due to being all sweaty. Huzaifah struggled even when his peers tried to console him.  

Huzaifah didn't cry on his first day, and I haven't pick up on any clues that would make him anxious to go back to school. Yes, I was perplexed and confused, but I knew that I must leave him in school.

Cikgu An assured me that this is normal, "biasalah budak dah lama tak datang sekolah, dah seronok main kat rumah..." I told him firmly that he would be fine, that he has his friends and Cikgu An around and that Ayah would pick him up later. He must be a good boy and stay in class until his Ayah come and get him.  

I looked up to Cikgu An and she gave me a nod - a sign to let me know that it was really okay for me to leave. Nothing to worry about. "Nanti dia reda sendiri, jangan risau"

I left.

Huzaifah ran after me to the door, which was quickly locked up by Cikgu An. My son continued wailing, "Ujai tak nak sekolah! Ujai tak nak sekolah!"

I walked back to the car. Took a deep breath once I was seated on the driver's seat.

Despite the closed door, I could still hear Huzaifah's plead "Ibu, Ujai nak balik. Ujai tak nak sekolah!".

Took another deep breath.

Huzaifah needs to learn that he cannot get things done his way all the time.

Huzaifah needs to learn things at kindie that he otherwise doesn't really learn at home.

He needs to socialise with children his age.

I was convinced that I'm only doing this for his own good.

But still - for a second or two - I almost felt like giving in.

Weak moment, I know.

But it was really heartbreaking hearing him cry.

For the first time, I realised how difficult it must be for parents whose children plead with them not to be left at school on their first day.

I left after taking yet another deep breath, telling myself to be firm, that he will be fine. Just wait and see.

And he was fine by the end of the day.
When asked what did he learn in school - he responded cheerfully.
It was almost difficult to believe that the same kid who cried so hard in the morning was the same kid who happily reported what they were up to in class that day.
I felt like simultaneously strangle and hug him geram, ok?
I gave him a tight hug.